Model Essay 4: Traffic Congestion
Question type: problem and solution. Both halves are marked, and every solution must answer a problem you actually named.
Unofficial original RCF practice material
Original question and essay written by RCF English. Not endorsed by the British Council, IDP: IELTS Australia or Cambridge University Press & Assessment.
The question
Traffic congestion is becoming worse in many large cities.
What problems does this cause, and what measures could be taken to address it?
Write at least 250 words.
The plan
| Paragraph | Content |
|---|---|
| Introduction | Name the counter-intuitive fact that organises the essay: building more road capacity generates more traffic. Signal both halves. |
| Body 1 | Problems: time lost from the economy; air quality; and the way congestion pushes people into cars by making buses unreliable. |
| Body 2 | Solutions that address those problems: pricing the road space, and giving buses separate lanes so they escape the congestion they are stuck in. |
| Body 3 (short) | Why building more roads is not on the list - the induced-demand point, delivered as the essay's one real insight. |
| Conclusion | The general principle: congestion is a pricing problem, not an engineering one. |
The model essay
Question: Traffic congestion is becoming worse in many large cities. What problems does this cause, and what measures could be taken to address it?
Traffic congestion is one of the few city problems that reliably becomes worse as a country becomes richer. The usual answer, which is to build more roads, has a long record of failure. The effects of congestion are serious, but the measures that actually work are reasonably well understood.
The most obvious problem is lost time. Hours spent sitting in traffic are hours not spent working, resting or with a family. Because the delay also affects deliveries and tradespeople, the cost is passed on in the price of almost everything a city buys. The second problem is air quality. Vehicles in slow traffic produce far more pollution per kilometre than vehicles moving freely, and that pollution is concentrated exactly where people live. The third problem is the least obvious. Congestion makes buses slow and unreliable, so a bus that is stuck in traffic arrives late and eventually stops being worth catching. Every passenger it loses to a car makes the traffic slightly worse, so the problem feeds itself.
The measures that work follow from these problems. The first is to charge for road space at the busiest times, as several cities now do. This reduces the least necessary journeys, which are a surprisingly large share of the total, and it raises money that can be spent on the alternatives. The second is to give buses and cycles their own lanes, so that public transport escapes the congestion instead of sitting in it. Reliability, more than cost or comfort, is what persuades people to leave a car at home.
What does not work is building more roads, because the new space is filled by journeys that were not worth making before. Congestion is a pricing problem, and pricing is where any solution has to begin.
Why this answer works
- The two halves are balanced. Three problems, two solutions, roughly equal space. An essay that spends 200 words on problems and 60 on solutions loses Task Response marks even if the problems are described well.
- Every solution answers a problem that was named. Road pricing answers the lost time and pays for the alternatives; bus lanes answer the third problem directly. Nothing floats free.
- The third problem is a feedback loop, not a list item - congestion makes buses slow, which pushes people into cars, which worsens congestion. Showing a mechanism lifts this above the usual pollution, stress, accidents list.
- The essay saves its best idea for the end: new road space fills up with journeys that were not worth making before. Placing it last gives the conclusion something to do.
- Hedged honestly: a surprisingly large share, as several cities now do. Neither invents a number, and both sound informed.
- Cohesion comes from meaning, not connectives. There is no Firstly, Secondly, Moreover. Each paragraph follows from the last, which is what the Coherence criterion actually rewards.
- 294 words, sentences of about sixteen words. Band 7 to 7.5.
Language worth borrowing
- has a long record of failure
- Dismisses an option with authority and without needing a statistic.
- the cost is passed on in the price of almost everything a city buys
- Follows a consequence one step further than the obvious. This is extension, and examiners reward it.
- so the problem feeds itself
- Names a feedback loop in four words.
- The measures that work follow from these problems.
- A transition that makes the second half depend on the first, instead of starting a new list.
- journeys that were not worth making before
- Explains induced demand in plain English, without needing the term.
Check your own attempt
- Are your problems and solutions given roughly equal space?
- Does each solution answer a problem you actually named?
- Did you explain a mechanism, or list effects?
- Did you avoid the Firstly, Secondly, Moreover skeleton and let the ideas connect instead?
- Are you between 260 and 300 words?
Now try this variation
In many cities, the cost of housing has risen far faster than incomes. What problems does this cause, and what could be done about it?
The same discipline applies: name a feedback loop rather than a list, and make every solution answer a stated problem. Try to find the equivalent of the induced-demand point - the widely believed remedy that makes things worse.
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