Model Essay 5: Children and Screen Time
Question type: two-part. Two direct questions, and the commonest failure is answering the first at length and the second in a sentence.
Unofficial original RCF practice material
Original question and essay written by RCF English. Not endorsed by the British Council, IDP: IELTS Australia or Cambridge University Press & Assessment.
The question
Children in many countries now spend several hours a day looking at screens.
Why has this happened, and do you think it is a negative development?
Write at least 250 words.
How a two-part question is structured
The safest structure is: introduction, one body paragraph for each question, conclusion. If one question needs more room, give it two paragraphs - but never leave the other with less than a full paragraph.
The second question here contains do you think, which means an opinion is required. Two-part questions frequently hide an opinion instruction in the second half, and candidates who are watching for the four familiar essay types miss it.
The plan
| Paragraph | Content |
|---|---|
| Introduction | Answer both questions in one sentence each. Position on part two: negative, but because of what it displaces rather than what it contains. |
| Body 1 (why) | Two causes: devices are designed to hold attention, and the alternatives have quietly become less available. |
| Body 2 (opinion) | The displacement argument, developed - what the hours were previously spent on. |
| Body 3 (qualification) | The concession: not all screen time is equivalent, and a blanket judgement is lazy. |
| Conclusion | Restate: harmful in quantity rather than in kind. |
The model essay
Question: Children in many countries now spend several hours a day looking at screens. Why has this happened, and do you think it is a negative development?
Children today spend far longer looking at screens than children did a generation ago. The reasons have as much to do with the world around the screen as with the devices themselves. I do think the scale of it is harmful, though not for the reason people usually give.
There are two main causes. The first is that these products are designed to be difficult to stop using. Games and video sites are built by large teams whose job is to increase the time each user spends on them, and a child's self-control is no match for that. The second cause is discussed far less. The alternatives have quietly disappeared. Children in many countries are no longer allowed to roam on their own as they once were, streets carry more traffic, free outdoor play has been reduced by worries about safety, and parents themselves work longer hours. A screen is what is left when the other choices have been closed off.
My own concern is not mainly about what children see on screens, which is the usual worry. It is about what those hours would otherwise have contained. Long stretches of unsupervised, slightly boring time are where children learn to negotiate with each other, to invent games, and to be bored and then solve their own boredom. That ability is built by practice, and it is the practice that has been lost.
It would be unreasonable, though, to treat all screen use as the same. A child who is learning to edit video, messaging a grandparent far away, or following a subject well beyond the school syllabus is doing something genuinely valuable. Adults who use screens all day are also in a poor position to be strict about it.
My view, then, is that the problem lies in the quantity and in what it replaces, rather than in the activity itself.
Why this answer works
- Both questions are answered in the introduction, one clause each. An examiner reading only the first paragraph can see the essay is on task.
- The two halves get comparable space - one paragraph on the causes, two on the opinion, because the opinion is where the argument lives. Neither half is left with a single sentence.
- The second cause is the interesting one, and the essay says so. Anyone can write that devices are addictive; noticing that the alternatives have been withdrawn is the observation that reads as thought rather than recall.
- The opinion has a precise shape: harmful because of what it replaces, not because of what children see. Saying which version of the worry you hold is far stronger than it has both positive and negative effects.
- The concession is genuine and includes the writer. Adults who use screens all day are also in a poor position to be strict about it is honest, slightly self-implicating, and impossible to mistake for a memorised sentence.
- Concrete detail throughout: edit video, messaging a grandparent far away, to be bored and then solve their own boredom. Specificity is what separates a Band 7 body paragraph from a Band 6 one.
- 311 words - at the top of the sensible range. Band 7 to 7.5.
Language worth borrowing
- The reasons have as much to do with X as with Y.
- Answers a why question and previews the structure in one clause.
- though not for the reason people usually give
- Promises the reader something they have not already thought of, and obliges you to deliver it.
- The second cause is discussed far less.
- Signals that you are ranking your own points rather than listing them.
- A screen is what is left when the other choices have been closed off.
- Summarises a whole paragraph in one image.
- It would be unreasonable, though, to treat all X as the same.
- The standard opener for a concession paragraph.
Check your own attempt
- Did you answer both questions, at similar length?
- Did you notice that the second question asked for your opinion?
- Is your opinion specific, or just both good and bad?
- Did you include a genuine concession?
- Are you between 260 and 300 words?
Now try this variation
Fewer young people in many countries are learning to drive. Why might this be, and is it a positive or a negative development?
Same shape, same discipline. Look for the second cause that nobody mentions - the one about what has changed in the world rather than in the people.
Share this
Next
Essay 6: Space exploration
Opinion: agree or disagree.
All ten essays
The full list by question type.