Model essay 5 of 10: two-part question

Model Essay 5: Children and Screen Time

Question type: two-part. Two direct questions, and the commonest failure is answering the first at length and the second in a sentence.

The question

Children in many countries now spend several hours a day looking at screens.

Why has this happened, and do you think it is a negative development?

Write at least 250 words.

How a two-part question is structured

The safest structure is: introduction, one body paragraph for each question, conclusion. If one question needs more room, give it two paragraphs - but never leave the other with less than a full paragraph.

The second question here contains do you think, which means an opinion is required. Two-part questions frequently hide an opinion instruction in the second half, and candidates who are watching for the four familiar essay types miss it.

The plan

ParagraphContent
IntroductionAnswer both questions in one sentence each. Position on part two: negative, but because of what it displaces rather than what it contains.
Body 1 (why)Two causes: devices are designed to hold attention, and the alternatives have quietly become less available.
Body 2 (opinion)The displacement argument, developed - what the hours were previously spent on.
Body 3 (qualification)The concession: not all screen time is equivalent, and a blanket judgement is lazy.
ConclusionRestate: harmful in quantity rather than in kind.

The model essay

Original RCF model answer (296 words)

Question: Children in many countries now spend several hours a day looking at screens. Why has this happened, and do you think it is a negative development?

Children spend far longer in front of screens than they did a generation ago, for reasons that have as much to do with the world outside the screen as with the devices themselves. I do think the scale of it is harmful, though not for the reason usually given.

There are two main causes. The first is that these products are designed to be difficult to stop using. Games and video platforms are built by large teams whose explicit purpose is to extend the time each user spends with them, and a child's self-control is no match for that. The second cause is less discussed. The alternatives have quietly disappeared. Children in many countries are no longer allowed to roam unsupervised as they once were, streets carry more traffic, unstructured outdoor play has been squeezed by anxiety about safety, and parents themselves work longer and are less available. A screen is what remains when the other options have been closed off.

My concern is not principally about what children see on screens, which is the usual worry. It is about what the hours would otherwise have contained. Long stretches of unsupervised, slightly boring time are where children learn to negotiate with each other, to invent games, to be bored and then to solve boredom themselves. That capacity is built through practice, and the practice is what has been displaced.

It would be unreasonable, though, to treat all screen use as identical. A child learning to edit video, message a distant grandparent or follow a subject far beyond the school curriculum is doing something genuinely valuable, and adults who use screens all day are poorly placed to be absolute about it.

My view, then, is that the problem lies in the quantity and in what it replaces, rather than in the activity itself.

Why this answer works

  • Both questions are answered in the introduction, one clause each. An examiner reading only the first paragraph can already see that the essay is on task.
  • The two halves get comparable space - one paragraph for the causes, two for the opinion, because the opinion is where the argument lives. Neither half is left with a single sentence.
  • The second cause is the interesting one, and the essay says so. Anyone can write that devices are addictive; noticing that the alternatives have been withdrawn is the observation that reads as thought rather than recall.
  • The opinion has a precise shape: harmful because of displacement, not because of content. Naming which version of the worry you hold is far stronger than it has both positive and negative effects.
  • The concession is genuine and includes the writer. Adults who use screens all day are poorly placed to be absolute about it is honest, slightly self-implicating, and impossible to mistake for a memorised sentence.
  • Concrete detail throughout: edit video, message a distant grandparent, to be bored and then to solve boredom themselves. Specificity is what distinguishes Band 8 content from Band 6 content.
  • 296 words.

Language worth borrowing

for reasons that have as much to do with X as with Y
though not for the reason usually given
The second cause is less discussed.
A screen is what remains when the other options have been closed off.
It would be unreasonable, though, to treat all X as identical.

Check your own attempt

  • Did you answer both questions, at similar length?
  • Did you notice that the second question asked for your opinion?
  • Is your opinion specific, or just both good and bad?
  • Did you include a genuine concession?
  • Are you between 260 and 300 words?

Now try this variation

Fewer young people in many countries are learning to drive. Why might this be, and is it a positive or a negative development?

Same shape, same discipline. Look for the second cause that nobody mentions - the one about what has changed in the world rather than in the people.

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