Model essay 16 of 20: opinion

Model Essay 16: Public Money: Sport or Health Care

Opinion: to what extent do you agree?. The question, a plan, the essay itself, and why it would score well.

  • IELTS Writing Task 2
  • Opinion essay
  • Government spending
  • Academic and General Training
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The question

Some people think that governments should spend less money on sports facilities and more on health care and education.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

The plan

ParagraphContent
IntroductionRephrase the claim. Position: agree about elite sport, disagree about ordinary facilities.
Body 1Where the claim is right: stadiums and international events, and what that money could do instead.
Body 2Where it is wrong: swimming pools and playing fields are health spending under another name.
Body 3 (short)The distinction that matters: who uses the facility.
ConclusionCut the spectacle, keep the pool.

The model essay

Original RCF model answer (267 words)

Question: Some people think that governments should spend less money on sports facilities and more on health care and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes argued that money spent on sport would be better spent on hospitals and schools. I agree in the case of large-scale, professional sport, but I disagree where ordinary local facilities are concerned.

The argument is strongest against spectacle. Hosting an international tournament or building a stadium for a professional club costs an enormous sum, and the promised benefits, such as tourism and national pride, are hard to measure and often short-lived. The same money would buy equipment for hospitals or pay teachers for years, and those benefits are neither hard to measure nor temporary. Several cities have been left with arenas that are expensive to maintain and rarely full.

Local facilities, however, are a different matter. A public swimming pool, a running track or a playing field costs a small fraction of a stadium and is used every week by ordinary people. Exercise of this kind prevents precisely the illnesses that later fill hospital beds, which means that spending on it is a form of health spending, simply paid earlier. Cutting it to fund hospitals would increase the demand on those hospitals in time.

The useful question, then, is not sport or health, but who uses the facility. If a few professionals use it and the public watches, its value is entertainment. If hundreds of local residents use it every week, its value is health.

In conclusion, I agree that governments should spend less on elite sport, where the returns are uncertain, but the small local facilities that keep ordinary people active deserve protection, because cutting them makes the health budget larger, not smaller.

Language worth borrowing

I agree in the case of X, but I disagree where Y is concerned.
A split answer, which is often the honest one. Say which is which immediately.
The argument is strongest against X.
Shows you can judge the argument, not merely repeat it.
...which means that spending on it is a form of health spending, simply paid earlier.
Connects the two halves of the question instead of treating them separately.
The useful question, then, is not X or Y, but ...
Reframing. It signals to the examiner that you are thinking, not listing.
...because cutting them makes the health budget larger, not smaller.
A conclusion with a reason that bites.

Why this would score well

The four things an examiner marks, and what this essay does about each. The wording of the criteria is IELTS's own and is published for candidates; the comments are ours.

CriterionWhat this essay does
Task ResponseThe extent is exact: agreement for elite sport, disagreement for local facilities, with a test for telling them apart.
Coherence and CohesionConcede, counter, then supply the distinction. The reader always knows which side a paragraph is on.
Lexical ResourcePlain but exact: spectacle, arenas, returns, facilities. Repetition is avoided by meaning, not by synonyms.
Grammatical Range and AccuracyConditionals set up the test (If a few professionals use it ...), and are accurate.

Check your own attempt

  • Did you give an extent rather than a flat yes or no?
  • Did you distinguish between types of sports spending?
  • Does your conclusion add a reason rather than repeat the introduction?
  • Did you avoid inventing costs and figures?
  • Are your examples general rather than about one named event?
  • Are you between 250 and 300 words?

Use it, do not memorise it

An essay learnt by heart is easy to spot and cannot fit the question you are actually given. Take the shapes from Language worth borrowing, write your own answer to this question in forty minutes, then compare.

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