Model Essay 17: Long Working Hours
Problem and solution: problems and what should be done. The question, a plan, the essay itself, and why it would score well.
Unofficial original RCF practice material
Original question and essay written by RCF English. Not endorsed by the British Council, IDP: IELTS Australia or Cambridge University Press & Assessment.
The question
In many countries people are working longer hours than in the past.
What problems does this cause, and what can be done to solve them?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
The plan
| Paragraph | Content |
|---|---|
| Introduction | Rephrase the trend. Signal: problems for health and family, then two kinds of solution. |
| Body 1 | Problems: health, and the work that gets worse as hours get longer. |
| Body 2 | Problems at home: children, and unpaid work falling on one person. |
| Body 3 | Solutions: legal limits and the right to disconnect; employers measuring output rather than hours. |
| Conclusion | Which solution has to come first, and why. |
The model essay
Question: In many countries people are working longer hours than in the past. What problems does this cause, and what can be done to solve them?
Working hours have lengthened in many countries, helped by phones that make employees reachable at any time. This essay will outline the main problems this creates and suggest how they could be reduced.
The first problem is health. People who work very long weeks sleep less, exercise less and eat worse, and stress-related illness follows. There is also a problem for the employer, although it is less obvious: after a certain number of hours the quality of the work falls, mistakes increase, and the extra time produces little of value. Long hours and productive hours are not the same thing.
The second problem is at home. A parent who leaves before their children wake and returns after they sleep is present in the household but absent from it. Within couples, the housework and childcare usually fall to whichever partner works fewer paid hours, which is a common reason why one career advances and the other stalls.
Two kinds of solution would help. The first is legal: a maximum working week, enforced with real penalties, and a right to ignore messages outside working hours, as several countries have now introduced. The second is a change in how employers judge staff. Where managers measure hours in the office, employees stay late to be seen; where they measure work completed, staying late has no purpose.
In conclusion, long hours damage health, family life and often the work itself. Legal limits are the necessary first step, because individual employees cannot negotiate this alone, but lasting change also requires employers to stop treating time at a desk as evidence of effort.
Language worth borrowing
- This essay will outline the main problems and suggest how they could be reduced.
- One sentence of signposting. Enough.
- Long hours and productive hours are not the same thing.
- A short sentence that states the insight plainly.
- ...is present in the household but absent from it.
- A contrast in six words. Worth more than an elaborate phrase.
- Where managers measure X, employees do Y; where they measure Z, ...
- A parallel structure showing cause and effect on both sides.
- ...because individual employees cannot negotiate this alone.
- Explains why one solution must come first. Ranking solutions shows judgement.
Why this would score well
The four things an examiner marks, and what this essay does about each. The wording of the criteria is IELTS's own and is published for candidates; the comments are ours.
| Criterion | What this essay does |
|---|---|
| Task Response | Problems and solutions are both developed, and the solutions match the problems described. |
| Coherence and Cohesion | Two problems, two solutions, then a ranking. Nothing is left for the reader to assemble. |
| Lexical Resource | Workplace language used accurately: productivity, enforced, penalties, output. |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | Parallel where ... clauses and relative clauses, controlled rather than decorative. |
Check your own attempt
- Did you answer both parts, problems and solutions?
- Is each solution connected to a problem you named?
- Did you include a problem the reader might not expect?
- Did you avoid inventing statistics about working hours?
- Does the conclusion say which solution matters most?
- Are you between 250 and 300 words?
Use it, do not memorise it
An essay learnt by heart is easy to spot and cannot fit the question you are actually given. Take the shapes from Language worth borrowing, write your own answer to this question in forty minutes, then compare.
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