Model Essay 19: Sharing Online, and Who Should Set the Rules
Two-part question. The question, a plan, the essay itself, and why it would score well.
Unofficial original RCF practice material
Original question and essay written by RCF English. Not endorsed by the British Council, IDP: IELTS Australia or Cambridge University Press & Assessment.
The question
People now share a great deal of personal information on social media.
Why do they do this, and should governments regulate what is shared?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
The plan
| Paragraph | Content |
|---|---|
| Introduction | Rephrase both parts. Signal: reasons first, then a qualified yes on regulation. |
| Body 1 | Why people share: connection, and the design of the platforms themselves. |
| Body 2 | Why people underestimate the risk: the audience feels small. |
| Body 3 | Regulation: yes for how companies use the data, no for what adults choose to post. |
| Conclusion | Regulate the company, teach the user. |
The model essay
Question: People now share a great deal of personal information on social media. Why do they do this, and should governments regulate what is shared?
Social media users publish a great deal about themselves, from holidays to opinions to the details of their children's lives. This essay will consider why this happens and whether governments should intervene.
The first reason is straightforward: people are sociable, and sharing news is what friends have always done. What has changed is the design of the platforms. They are built to reward posting, with likes and comments arriving within seconds, and that immediate response encourages people to post again. Many users also maintain a version of themselves online, and a version needs material.
A second reason is that the risk feels smaller than it is. Writing a post feels like speaking to a few friends, because the replies come from friends, and it is easy to forget that the audience is far larger and that the record is permanent. Information that seems harmless alone, such as a school name and a daily routine, becomes useful to a stranger once it is combined.
On regulation, I would distinguish between two things. What an adult chooses to publish is their own business, and a government deciding what may be posted is a serious step towards censorship. How companies collect, store, combine and sell that information is a different question entirely, and there the user has no real choice, since refusing the terms means not using the service. Rules there, including strict protection for children's accounts, are justified.
In conclusion, people share because it is sociable and because the platforms are designed to encourage it, and they underestimate how public it is. Governments should regulate the companies rather than the users, and schools should teach young people what a permanent record means.
Language worth borrowing
- This essay will consider why this happens and whether X should intervene.
- Names both parts of a two-part question in one sentence.
- What has changed is the design of the platforms.
- A what-clause used for emphasis. Simple and effective.
- ...it is easy to forget that the audience is far larger and that the record is permanent.
- Two parallel that-clauses: tidy and accurate.
- On X, I would distinguish between two things.
- Announces that your answer has two parts, so the reader follows the split.
- Governments should regulate the companies rather than the users.
- A conclusion in one line that anyone could quote back.
Why this would score well
The four things an examiner marks, and what this essay does about each. The wording of the criteria is IELTS's own and is published for candidates; the comments are ours.
| Criterion | What this essay does |
|---|---|
| Task Response | Both questions are answered separately and fully, and the second answer is qualified rather than a flat yes or no. |
| Coherence and Cohesion | Reason, second reason, then the two halves of the regulation answer. The structure mirrors the question. |
| Lexical Resource | Precise words for an abstract topic: censorship, permanent record, terms, intervene. |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | Noun clauses and comparatives handled cleanly; the longer sentences do not lose control. |
Check your own attempt
- Did you answer both questions, and give each a fair share of the essay?
- Is your answer on regulation specific about what would be regulated?
- Did you avoid naming particular companies unnecessarily?
- Did you avoid inventing figures about users?
- Does your conclusion answer both parts?
- Are you between 250 and 300 words?
Use it, do not memorise it
An essay learnt by heart is easy to spot and cannot fit the question you are actually given. Take the shapes from Language worth borrowing, write your own answer to this question in forty minutes, then compare.
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